Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
OPIZZABONMYDICK
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Randomize