So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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