my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
Randomize