Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
