How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
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