Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize
