his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
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