My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
My party ended early and I have a mountain of shrimp and weed
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
