Why do you have Season One of Reba in your underwear drawer?
Why are you in my underwear drawer?
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
This girl in my class is lecturing my professor about zombies. It has been going on for 15 minutes.
Zombies?
Zombies.
Randomize
