This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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