Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
So, no matter what happens today, hold on to this. At least you're not naked under your ex husband's trench coat being stopped by the police who also work with your ex husband. Long story. Actually, not a long story. That's it.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
