I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
If she wants to think that freshman 15 means sleeping with 15 guys than so be it I just gotta make sure I'm one of them.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I almost suffocated in that mask but she kept calling me Jeremy so I kept it on.
Randomize
