just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
