Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
(540): I ran 10 miles and then took a dump behind a rock. What the fuck have you done with a hangover that's comparable?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
