you turned your livingroom into a bong?
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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