Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
How do I tell my mom that she just went to the gym with my water bottle filled with vodka...
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize