Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
