What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
I think sneezing out coked up boogers onto your professor disqualifies you from the "I was sick" excuse
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
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