So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
