Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
