There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
