hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
Thanks for FaceTime'ing with that ugly chick last night while me and her friend were in the other room. it's good to know I can still count on my wingman even when we're 2000 miles apart
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Randomize
