remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
last night I used snow as a chaser
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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