he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
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