I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Randomize
