dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
Randomize
