oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
Apparently I blamed my BAC on the Saint Louis Cardinals...how is that not a valid excuse?!
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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