i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
