Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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