Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
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