alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
