Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
