doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Let the clothes fall where they may.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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