was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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