$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
Randomize
