I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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