90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
The uberlube is also flammable
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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