dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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