kristin has been a bad kristin
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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