Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
