I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize