i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
