so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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