you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
