I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
It's one of those things you just need to see in person at least once in your life. Like Niagara falls or some shit. His ass is the Niagara falls of asses
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
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