ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
just when his roommates walked in, we were naked in the kitchen. proceeded to awkwardly pretzel walk back into his room to cover each other (not that they haven't seen me naked plenty of times) and continue to have glorious morning sex. his roomates love me.
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize