oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
