whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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