she woke up with a sticky ear
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
