you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
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