this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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