i already hear my dad disowning me
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
A+ Viking dick
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Randomize
