She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Randomize
