We won't sleep together?
You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
now there's a facebook group for all the people whose lives i've ruined
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
