On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
