My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
Randomize
