"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
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