I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Randomize
