She is in my trunk
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
So I just had breakfast and then sex in a parking garage before he went to school and thus I am loving my life
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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