I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize
