can we get nightvision for the apartment?
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize
