I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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