last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize