Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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