why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Did we really just set fireworks off in a cemetery? Or was that a dream?
I think so and I think we were sober.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Come share oat with me in your robe
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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